Are You Abandoning Yourself?

When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for - a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.

As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you.

It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself.

Most people don't think about how they abandon themselves because they don't recognize that they are responsible for themselves - physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally.

Sometimes we abandon ourselves in one area and take responsibility for ourselves in another area. For example, you might work hard to make a good living and have learned how to manage your money, which means that you are taking financial responsibility. But you might be abandoning yourself physically by eating poorly, not getting exercise and not getting enough sleep. When this is the case, you are physically abandoning yourself. Or perhaps you take organizational responsibility by being on time and keeping your environment neat and clean, but you abandon yourself relationally by giving yourself up and/or not speaking up for yourself.

One of the most common ways that many people abandon themselves is emotionally. Most people don't realize that they are responsible for learning to lovingly manage their feelings. Few of us had good role models for managing our painful feelings in ways that support our highest good. Instead, we learned many dysfunctional ways of avoiding our feelings.

Emotional Self-Abandonment

I've discovered four ways that many people emotionally abandon themselves:

1. Self-judgment

How often are you aware of judging yourself? Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, that you are a failure, that you are stupid, or ugly or bad? I don't think I've ever counseled a person who didn't judge their self in some ways.

2. Staying in your head rather than being present in your body

Do you spend most of your awake time thinking, being unaware of your feelings? Is thinking a way you've learned to avoid feeling your feelings?

3. Turning to various addictions

Have you learned to turn to various addictions to avoid feeling your feelings? Do you indulge in substances, activities or various forms of controlling behavior to avoid your feelings?

4. Making another or others responsible for your feelings

Do you look to others for the attention and approval that you are not giving to yourself? Do you then try to control them with anger, judgment, compliance, withdrawal or resistance, in order to get them to give you want you want?

Feelings-Your inner Guidance System

The problem with emotionally abandoning yourself in any of these ways is that you are bypassing your entire inner guidance system. For example, do you know how you feel when you abandon yourself? Most people feel anxious, depressed, empty, alone, guilty, shamed and/or angry when they abandon themselves, but they rarely connect these feelings with their self-abandonment. Instead, they believe they feel this way due to something external.

If you start to tune into how you feel when you judge yourself, or when you are in your head thinking rather than being present in your body, or you are acting out addictively or making others responsible for you, you will discover how awful you are making yourself feel. You will discover that your feelings of anxiety, depression, emptiness, aloneness, guilt, shame, abandonment or anger are letting you know that you are abandoning yourself.

Do you want to know this? If you do, make a decision to start learning from your feelings, rather than avoiding them. You will discover that when you learn to take emotional responsibility, it becomes far easier to take personal responsibility in all other areas of your life. You will discover that when you start to learn from your feelings, rather than continue to avoid them, your entire life will change for the better

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When Fears Melt Away

When we are prepared to meet our problems and concerns from another line of thought, fears that appeared as solids and liquids morph into gases of an invisible form, and they dissipate into the ether.

And though such fears are destined to re-emerge we have the key to resolving our problems when we take not just a step back, but a step sideways as well.

But first of all we must take counsel from the truth about The Truth.

The truth is always our best advocate if we will trust God enough to seek it.

Fear keeps us from the truth and, only then, we lay exposed. If we get over our fear of aligning with the truth we stand to be blessed - to stand in the Court of Awareness.

THE COURT OF AWARENESS

Courts are where truth is presented, besides allusions to justice gone wrong. When we bring our problems (presented at the feeling level as fears) before the court of our awareness we face those fears and find the fearful component of the problem falls away, because we have met the fear fearlessly in the truth.

When our truth is allowed to stand on its feet, without innuendo opposing it, the truth shines as an unopposed beacon creating awareness.

This is fundamental for our courage as we need some reason, some vote, for faith.

When we stand up from the witness dock, with all innuendo annulled, we stand with the humble confidence to face the problem without all its noisy, unhelpful bells and whistles. These present as our anxiety in the midst of our problems.

This is a court like we have never experienced before.

The judge is the Holy Spirit and the Judge will discern and not allow falsity against us. But we must see things as a third, impartial person would see them. There is no defence and no prosecution - only the truth enters this court.

In an experience of court like this we have agreed to walk with the truth, probably because we have a full faith that the truth is safe in this environment.

The Court of Awareness is a safe place where we are at one with reality in our minds. In this state we neither get too far ahead of ourselves nor do we get caught up in our pasts. We are safely present. Awareness and the truth go hand in hand. Each is necessary for the other. Each of awareness and truth provide for each other.

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Top 3 Ways to Organize Your Mind

Studies show that 6 out of 10 people are suffering from some form of mental disability. Now, this is not so shocking and you should stop looking for that psychiatrist's phone number. There are various personality disorders and people often live their lives not even realizing that they're suffering from a mental condition. What really complicates the situation is the fact that often even specialists can't tell the difference between a personality trait and a trait that went somewhat rouge as in international espionage - only this time the conflict is inside the sufferers head. So, where is the thin line between sanity and insanity? The difference here is just one syllable but like I said, even people who have dedicated years of their lives studying the human mind can't tell for sure.

So, what would you do if you're going through some sort of mid-life crisis? What would you do when you realize that you're losing your grip on your own life and giving into intrusive thoughts? Destructive behaviours can be triggered from scratch - a simple fixation becomes an anxiety disorder, a repressed memory can be unlocked and who knows what will come out! And all this can affect your life in a very bad way. "A healthy mind resides in a healthy body." is a popular saying but it actually holds the answer we are searching for. The state of your mind can affect your body but this can be reversed. By changing your behaviour and the way you treat your body you can set your mind in the right track.

Here are the top 3 ways to organize your mind that work unconditionally. But which method is the most effective? Well, these methods are just frame devices - you are the picture!

Organize everything

If your mind is a mess, I won't be surprised if everything around you is also a mess. Maybe your home doesn't look neglected because you're using cleaning services but your personal belongings to which only you have access are universally scattered. The real clutter can be seen in your personal computer for sure. Of course, the simple explanation is that you don't really enjoy the housework and maybe you're a chaotic persona in general. But if you notice that these signs are getting worse and worse, then they're not signs but rather symptoms. The clutter in your brain is spreading and affecting your domestic environment. Lucky for you, this process is easily reversible. All you need to do is start organizing... everything! Organize your desk, your computer files, your clothes, your music, your books - organize every aspect of your home. But your home is not a cage, go ahead and organize your workplace and every other property of yours. Eventually, your mind will organize itself. By dealing with the surrounding clutter you'll affect the inner "clutter". A lot of people achieve inner peace with this organizing/cleaning therapy.

Exercising

Scientists have noticed that people who actively practice some form of sport rarely have intrusive thoughts while other individuals who lead a stuck way of life are more likely to develop mental disorders. "A healthy mind resides in a healthy body." can truly serve as a paragon on how to stay sane and focused when leading a life full of stress. By participating in sports and training you stay in shape and you're healthier. It is less likely you'll suffer from heart conditions, diabetes, no way you're getting overweight when you're burning so much calories. On top of that, movement and exercising cause the release of endorphins (also known as the hormone of happiness) in your bloodstream. But the cherry on top of this sundae ice-cream is that you look fabulous! Your body is more appealing to other people, therefore you're more socially acceptable. If you feel that your mind is like scrambled eggs then getting more exercise is what you need. In fact, scientists have proven that just a few minutes of exercise burns away all the hormones that are causing stress.

Hobbies

There are various ways for one to organize his mind and having a productive hobby is a good example. Everyone has an activity in his life that makes him happier. If you feel that your mind is harbouring too much stress maybe you should take some time off work and do what makes you happier. If you're reading this, I sincerely doubt that your work is your hobby. Look at this as a way of survival. The body has needs but so does the mind. Taking some time off your daily agenda and indulging yourself by doing what makes you happy is a great therapy. No wonder that women find comfort in reckless shopping. It is actually great if your hobby involves a lot of movement, this way you can satisfy the needs of your body and your mind. If you love to travel don't think twice and start packing your luggage. Let go of your worries and do something that will bring you joy. Once you get that feeling back you will handle the stress in your life much easier. Once you've refreshed and organized your thoughts and feelings you will feel much more comfortable.

In conclusion, it all comes down to this - the balance between stress and happiness. Even the most methodical mind can fall into the abyss of depression but it is important to remember that we are in control of what is going on in our lives

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How You Can Use Procrastination to Your Advantage

Watch the movie Gone with the Wind and you'll see one of Scarlett O'Hara's favorite phrases is, "I'll think about that tomorrow." While she may look fancy saying it, good ol' Scarlett is really just procrastinating!

Of course, Scarlett accomplished a whole lot during that movie, so procrastination might have worked out OK for her. But what about you? Can you ever benefit from procrastinating?

After all, the general consensus is procrastinating makes you lazy. It proves you have no sense of direction. It means you're not organized.

But hang on a minute.

Let's take a look at some well-known phrases - like "haste makes waste", "think before you speak", and "when in doubt, do nothing". Aren't these just really clever ways of procrastinating? Yet, they're all considered words of wisdom.

So, what's the deal?

Putting things off can be a good thing, when you do it the right way. For example, some people put off making a decision or taking action until they can gather more information. That way, when they do make a decision, they're confident it's the right one.

Sounds pretty smart, right?

That's why "sleeping on it" is considered to be so wise. You're taking the time you need to make a smart decision. If you don't "sleep on it", you may act irrationally or impulsively and make a big mistake!

Now, let's take it one step further. Let's say you put off making a decision so you can get more information. As a result, you wind up with a tighter deadline. In order to meet it, you have to be even more organized and disciplined than the guy who didn't take all of that extra time gathering information.

When you look at it that way, procrastinating can be a great way to learn how to work under pressure!

The key, though, is to procrastinate temporarily. If you simply use this reasoning as a way to never make a decision or accomplish anything, you're not benefitting from procrastination. Instead, you're being held back by it.

The best procrastinators are the ones who call a "time out" to assess everything. Then, once they have all the facts, they get to work - and they work hard. They eliminate the negatives and the distractions and work towards their goal.

Like anything else, procrastination can be a valuable tool, as long as you know how to use it to your advantage. So, the next time someone tells you that your procrastination is a bad thing, remind them that it can actually be a good thing. After all, Gone with the Wind ends with Scarlett exclaiming, "Tomorrow is another day!"

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Five Interesting Answers to Life's Most Common Questions

Life is all about questions and experiences - nothing more. So don't obsess too much on collecting any other possessions because they will not remain relevant for long. What you need to do is orient yourself to answers that will add more sense to your life and lead you to more important queries. Only then can you really assure yourself of a happy and satisfying life. To get you started on this quest, here are a few questions and answers that will make your life more meaningful.

1. Can love last a lifetime? It may seem like a silly question that warrants a fairy tale answer, but there have actually been studies made to test the sustainability of such an emotion. The answer is, without proper maintenance, no. Romantic love is associated with chemical changes in the brain and its effects often only last for 12 to 18 months. After that, people are left to cope with their own devices. Unless they are able to re-stimulate the same chemical reaction, they are bound to suffer a fall out.

2. When do you know what you are supposed to do with your life? This used to just be solely an angst-ridden adolescent's question. But now, even people way past their adulthood are seeking resolutions. The answer is any moment. There is no exact calling that a person must adhere to for the rest of his or her life because he or she changes as the years go by. New preferences arise. New passions develop. Old ones may die out. So there's nothing to be ashamed about having changed your career option 10 times within the span of 20 to 30 years. Besides, a job is just something you do. It doesn't define your whole existence. So it makes sense that you are always questioning where you go and how you go about life at every turn.

3. Can a half-empty individual transform his or her self into someone half-full? Meaning, can a pessimistic person be optimistic? The answer all depends on training. Since it is a behavioural and cognitive based trait, there is a chance that transformation can occur as far as point of view and reaction is concerned. But that is only possible if the person subjects him or herself intently to a program. We are learning species. And as much as a dog can be reprogrammed to stop doing unhealthy habits, so can humans.

4. Can money buy happiness? The answer is obvious - NO - and it's all because happiness isn't for sale. It is an experience that is neither influenced by nor instigated directly by cash. Money may be able to buy things that could bring you comfort, security, and excitement. But they don't add up to happiness. To further support this claim, just think about the moments that bring you genuine peace and satisfaction from a place of darkness. They don't involve money now, do they?

5. When is it okay to tell a secret? If it's yours to tell, then it's fine. If it isn't, they you are going to break basic social etiquette.

If you'd like to read more answers to common questions, you could visit websites that cater specifically these information.

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Brain Exercises To Strengthen Your Mind and Body

Brain exercises are very effective to keep your mind sharp even as you age. It creates a reservoir of intelligence. So, whenever you need it, you can use it. There are lots of methods and steps that you can follow so you could keep your mind intellectually fit. Just like our body that needs exercise so that you can make your muscles strong and healthy, our mind also works that way. We need to do various exercises to make sure that it is in its perfect state. It can also be compared to a knife. The latter does not cut anything if it has not been sharpened. It needs to be sharp in order for it to be used properly. The idea of the brain function works that way too.

The very first basic thing that is necessary to our everyday living is food. There are certain foods that can enhance the brain. And when the brain is exercised it provides proper disposition of our mind and body. The food does not only provide power boost to our mind but as well as gives energy and support to our health. You can also read anything that would interest your senses. If you are fond of reading, then it is a very good thing. You have got the advantage because your brain has been consistently being used. It is working as you read through the paragraphs in a book. You learn new words, which are added to your vocabulary.

Free your mind. If you have been stressed out the whole day because of what happened in school, at work or with your personal relationships, then control your mind not to entertain any negative thoughts. Meditating and controlling your mental capability is one way of exercising your brain. If you are into games, you could select games that will give you a chance to think or to analyze. It should be a game that will not only entertain you but will motivate your brain to process. Try solving mathematical problems. Analyzing the problem will make your mind process the answer. Start a conversation. Talking to someone can also exercise your brain as you would allow your system to process receiving and sending certain information to the person you are talking to.

Go out and take a refreshing early morning walk through your nearby park. In this way, you can be connected with nature thus giving your brain a time to relax from all different types of stresses and pressures. Eat breakfast as it provides the energy that you need to start the day. Create new designs or redesign. Multitasking is one effective method that can be employed for your brain to be optimized. When you are watching a television during the commercial break, you may solve a crossword puzzle or draw something.

Listen to classical music. It has been discovered by the experts in the field of brain power that classical music is the best music to be used as a tool to enhance the power of the brain. Play various games online that will make your mind work like word games and chess. These are just few of the brain exercises that you can try.

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Learning About Acts of Courage

Various Acts of Courage have been seen done by various people and all these acts are often recognized by the firms that look into these matters.

What are the courageous acts?

People sometimes get stuck in various problems and they seek the help of other people to bring them out of the problem. In such cases there are people who voluntarily help others. There are cases like meeting with an accident or something. The acts that bring out the courage include the ones in which the helping person risks his life to help others.

There have been instances when people need help while they are in a stream of water where they cannot swim. In such cases the helper may also sink but still the person gives his or her best to help the needed one. Other Acts of Courage may be saving someone from being kidnapped or from thieves, risking their own life in the process. All these acts are recognized by various firms and also by the government on a yearly basis. These cases are also an example to the society where the atmosphere is changing with a high pace and people are getting busier as the days progress. These acts bring out the best in the nature of the helper. People often do not help for the fear of risking their own life but, this is not the case. A person must help the other selflessly because, ultimately all the deeds are rewarded somewhere or the other.

Courageous acts lead to Achievements:

The achievements that a person makes in the society are termed as Social Achievements and all these achievements are something that one must boast about. All these achievements are achieved by hard work and also working selflessly. A person may be rewarded for this in some or the other form. The acts mentioned above are also part of achievements by individuals.

There are various government organizations that look into all these matters and on the annual basis there are various rewards that are given. It is a moment to feel proud of for the person who is being rewarded. There are various things that one must always keep in mind while doing such acts and the basic is that the person must not do anything for the purpose of being rewarded, instead he or she must do it for the purpose of being a helping hand to the needy ones. The best part about these Social Achievements is that they are rewarded on a platform that is cheered by many and not just a small platform so as to promote the good thinking in the mind of everyone.

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