Mompreneurs Going It Alone: Three Ways To Keep A Positive Frame Of Mind For Business Success

I've always been a bit of a loner. This statement may surprise some people who know me, as I am generally seen to be the life and soul of the party, always surrounded by people and always up to something new. But yet, I'm also a total control freak and I have to work very hard to overcome my desire to control every situation and allow people to make their own decisions and mistakes. Can anyone relate or am I out here on my own?

Often it feels like I'm steering this ship alone.

Although I have great people who work for and with me, I haven't yet found someone who truly shares my values enough to hop on board and steer this entrepreneurial vessel through rough waters. Sometimes I just would love someone to sit down with and bounce ideas off. Someone who gets what I am about and cares as passionately as I do. Not a business partner as such, but someone who is treading a path similar to mine and can relate to my struggles.

But years of experience has taught me that the bad feelings pass and my motivation returns. Now when I'm feeling alone and unmotivated, I use these three steps:

Step 1: Recognise that one of the hardest things about starting your own business is the loneliness that ensues when you are doing all of the hard work to get it off the ground.

We women are naturally herders. We congregate en masse to share and relate. We feel safe and happy when we have someone to listen to our ideas and understand. When you're still sitting at your desk at 11.30pm, the house is quiet and even your husband has gone to bed, it can be easy to give in to your tired body feeling and question if it's all worth it.

Step 2: Know that you're never alone.

Are You Abandoning Yourself?

When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for - a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.

As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you.

It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself.

Most people don't think about how they abandon themselves because they don't recognize that they are responsible for themselves - physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally.

Sometimes we abandon ourselves in one area and take responsibility for ourselves in another area. For example, you might work hard to make a good living and have learned how to manage your money, which means that you are taking financial responsibility. But you might be abandoning yourself physically by eating poorly, not getting exercise and not getting enough sleep. When this is the case, you are physically abandoning yourself. Or perhaps you take organizational responsibility by being on time and keeping your environment neat and clean, but you abandon yourself relationally by giving yourself up and/or not speaking up for yourself.

One of the most common ways that many people abandon themselves is emotionally. Most people don't realize that they are responsible for learning to lovingly manage their feelings. Few of us had good role models for managing our painful feelings in ways that support our highest good. Instead, we learned many dysfunctional ways of avoiding our feelings.

Emotional Self-Abandonment

I've discovered four ways that many people emotionally abandon themselves:

1. Self-judgment

How often are you aware of judging yourself? Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, that you are a failure, that you are stupid, or ugly or bad? I don't think I've ever counseled a person who didn't judge their self in some ways.

2. Staying in your head rather than being present in your body

Do you spend most of your awake time thinking, being unaware of your feelings? Is thinking a way you've learned to avoid feeling your feelings?

3. Turning to various addictions

Have you learned to turn to various addictions to avoid feeling your feelings? Do you indulge in substances, activities or various forms of controlling behavior to avoid your feelings?

4. Making another or others responsible for your feelings

Do you look to others for the attention and approval that you are not giving to yourself? Do you then try to control them with anger, judgment, compliance, withdrawal or resistance, in order to get them to give you want you want?

Feelings-Your inner Guidance System

The problem with emotionally abandoning yourself in any of these ways is that you are bypassing your entire inner guidance system. For example, do you know how you feel when you abandon yourself? Most people feel anxious, depressed, empty, alone, guilty, shamed and/or angry when they abandon themselves, but they rarely connect these feelings with their self-abandonment. Instead, they believe they feel this way due to something external.

If you start to tune into how you feel when you judge yourself, or when you are in your head thinking rather than being present in your body, or you are acting out addictively or making others responsible for you, you will discover how awful you are making yourself feel. You will discover that your feelings of anxiety, depression, emptiness, aloneness, guilt, shame, abandonment or anger are letting you know that you are abandoning yourself.

Do you want to know this? If you do, make a decision to start learning from your feelings, rather than avoiding them. You will discover that when you learn to take emotional responsibility, it becomes far easier to take personal responsibility in all other areas of your life. You will discover that when you start to learn from your feelings, rather than continue to avoid them, your entire life will change for the better

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Top 3 Ways to Organize Your Mind

Studies show that 6 out of 10 people are suffering from some form of mental disability. Now, this is not so shocking and you should stop looking for that psychiatrist's phone number. There are various personality disorders and people often live their lives not even realizing that they're suffering from a mental condition. What really complicates the situation is the fact that often even specialists can't tell the difference between a personality trait and a trait that went somewhat rouge as in international espionage - only this time the conflict is inside the sufferers head. So, where is the thin line between sanity and insanity? The difference here is just one syllable but like I said, even people who have dedicated years of their lives studying the human mind can't tell for sure.

So, what would you do if you're going through some sort of mid-life crisis? What would you do when you realize that you're losing your grip on your own life and giving into intrusive thoughts? Destructive behaviours can be triggered from scratch - a simple fixation becomes an anxiety disorder, a repressed memory can be unlocked and who knows what will come out! And all this can affect your life in a very bad way. "A healthy mind resides in a healthy body." is a popular saying but it actually holds the answer we are searching for. The state of your mind can affect your body but this can be reversed. By changing your behaviour and the way you treat your body you can set your mind in the right track.

Here are the top 3 ways to organize your mind that work unconditionally. But which method is the most effective? Well, these methods are just frame devices - you are the picture!

Organize everything

If your mind is a mess, I won't be surprised if everything around you is also a mess. Maybe your home doesn't look neglected because you're using cleaning services but your personal belongings to which only you have access are universally scattered. The real clutter can be seen in your personal computer for sure. Of course, the simple explanation is that you don't really enjoy the housework and maybe you're a chaotic persona in general. But if you notice that these signs are getting worse and worse, then they're not signs but rather symptoms. The clutter in your brain is spreading and affecting your domestic environment. Lucky for you, this process is easily reversible. All you need to do is start organizing... everything! Organize your desk, your computer files, your clothes, your music, your books - organize every aspect of your home. But your home is not a cage, go ahead and organize your workplace and every other property of yours. Eventually, your mind will organize itself. By dealing with the surrounding clutter you'll affect the inner "clutter". A lot of people achieve inner peace with this organizing/cleaning therapy.

Exercising

Scientists have noticed that people who actively practice some form of sport rarely have intrusive thoughts while other individuals who lead a stuck way of life are more likely to develop mental disorders. "A healthy mind resides in a healthy body." can truly serve as a paragon on how to stay sane and focused when leading a life full of stress. By participating in sports and training you stay in shape and you're healthier. It is less likely you'll suffer from heart conditions, diabetes, no way you're getting overweight when you're burning so much calories. On top of that, movement and exercising cause the release of endorphins (also known as the hormone of happiness) in your bloodstream. But the cherry on top of this sundae ice-cream is that you look fabulous! Your body is more appealing to other people, therefore you're more socially acceptable. If you feel that your mind is like scrambled eggs then getting more exercise is what you need. In fact, scientists have proven that just a few minutes of exercise burns away all the hormones that are causing stress.

Hobbies

There are various ways for one to organize his mind and having a productive hobby is a good example. Everyone has an activity in his life that makes him happier. If you feel that your mind is harbouring too much stress maybe you should take some time off work and do what makes you happier. If you're reading this, I sincerely doubt that your work is your hobby. Look at this as a way of survival. The body has needs but so does the mind. Taking some time off your daily agenda and indulging yourself by doing what makes you happy is a great therapy. No wonder that women find comfort in reckless shopping. It is actually great if your hobby involves a lot of movement, this way you can satisfy the needs of your body and your mind. If you love to travel don't think twice and start packing your luggage. Let go of your worries and do something that will bring you joy. Once you get that feeling back you will handle the stress in your life much easier. Once you've refreshed and organized your thoughts and feelings you will feel much more comfortable.

In conclusion, it all comes down to this - the balance between stress and happiness. Even the most methodical mind can fall into the abyss of depression but it is important to remember that we are in control of what is going on in our lives

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7195611