Avoid for Disappointment

At some point in time or another we have all experienced disappointment. I am sure we are all well aware of some of the feelings that go along with disappointment: anger, fear, sadness, grief or even apathy. Sometimes, these feelings can be overwhelming. What can we do to make a disappointing situation a little easier to deal with?

Recently I have been the victim of disappointment myself. Although it didn't put me in a tailspin, it did make me question what kind of steps should be involved with recovering from a disappointing situation. Here is what I came up with.

Realize that you are disappointed and acknowledge your feelings. You wanted one thing, got another and now you feel the disappointment. Did it make you feel angry, fearful, sad, grievous, or are you feeling nothing at all? Do you want to scream, plot your revenge or give up? Scream out loud or in a pillow. Play it out in your mind. Write it down on paper (if you are plotting revenge, make sure you don't actually follow through with your plans). Ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are, why you are listening to this part of you (anger, fear, sadness, etc.), and how you can be with your pain for the moment, then how you can begin to move away from that pain. What steps will it take? Just make sure you are able to explore how it made you feel.

Talk it out. Once you have expressed your disappointment to yourself, it's time to talk it over with someone you trust. Sometimes it is just helpful to talk out all the emotions you are feeling to someone who will not judge you or tell you you are crazy.

Get perspective. Perhaps you have misinterpreted the situation altogether. Or maybe you have missed the lesson. A neutral person could help you to determine just what may have happened and point you in a more appropriate direction.

Discover the good. Discovering what good things came from your situation can be quite empowering and lead you to better outcomes in the future. If you are having trouble coming up with good things that could come from your experience, then start a gratitude list. List all the things you are grateful for in your life and read them everyday until you can add the good things that have come from the experience. Not only will you have found the good, your whole frame of mind will have changed with this valuable exercise.

Move past dwelling on the disappointment. It's time to take action by moving ahead. Take those lessons and all that gratitude and put them into the next experience you have. Having trouble with this? Then just start by writing the next steps you will take. You can also get out and do some fun things that will help you let go. Get together with friends who will help you get out of yourself and have fun. When the time comes to try that experience again you will have a great frame of mind and a whole list of possible avenues to take. "Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on."--Eckhart Tolle

In the end, it is important to remember that life is about living to the fullest. If you spend your time drowning in disappointment, then you are not living. Try the steps above to move beyond the disappointment and begin living the incredible life that is waiting for you.

Jennifer M. Clark is the owner of Nurturing Wellbeing and creator of YOUR Body Reset. She is a certified Health Coach and is certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners as a Holistic Health Practitioner.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7193682

Are You Abandoning Yourself?

When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for - a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.

As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you.

It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself.

Most people don't think about how they abandon themselves because they don't recognize that they are responsible for themselves - physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally.

Sometimes we abandon ourselves in one area and take responsibility for ourselves in another area. For example, you might work hard to make a good living and have learned how to manage your money, which means that you are taking financial responsibility. But you might be abandoning yourself physically by eating poorly, not getting exercise and not getting enough sleep. When this is the case, you are physically abandoning yourself. Or perhaps you take organizational responsibility by being on time and keeping your environment neat and clean, but you abandon yourself relationally by giving yourself up and/or not speaking up for yourself.

One of the most common ways that many people abandon themselves is emotionally. Most people don't realize that they are responsible for learning to lovingly manage their feelings. Few of us had good role models for managing our painful feelings in ways that support our highest good. Instead, we learned many dysfunctional ways of avoiding our feelings.

Emotional Self-Abandonment

I've discovered four ways that many people emotionally abandon themselves:

1. Self-judgment

How often are you aware of judging yourself? Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, that you are a failure, that you are stupid, or ugly or bad? I don't think I've ever counseled a person who didn't judge their self in some ways.

2. Staying in your head rather than being present in your body

Do you spend most of your awake time thinking, being unaware of your feelings? Is thinking a way you've learned to avoid feeling your feelings?

3. Turning to various addictions

Have you learned to turn to various addictions to avoid feeling your feelings? Do you indulge in substances, activities or various forms of controlling behavior to avoid your feelings?

4. Making another or others responsible for your feelings

Do you look to others for the attention and approval that you are not giving to yourself? Do you then try to control them with anger, judgment, compliance, withdrawal or resistance, in order to get them to give you want you want?

Feelings-Your inner Guidance System

The problem with emotionally abandoning yourself in any of these ways is that you are bypassing your entire inner guidance system. For example, do you know how you feel when you abandon yourself? Most people feel anxious, depressed, empty, alone, guilty, shamed and/or angry when they abandon themselves, but they rarely connect these feelings with their self-abandonment. Instead, they believe they feel this way due to something external.

If you start to tune into how you feel when you judge yourself, or when you are in your head thinking rather than being present in your body, or you are acting out addictively or making others responsible for you, you will discover how awful you are making yourself feel. You will discover that your feelings of anxiety, depression, emptiness, aloneness, guilt, shame, abandonment or anger are letting you know that you are abandoning yourself.

Do you want to know this? If you do, make a decision to start learning from your feelings, rather than avoiding them. You will discover that when you learn to take emotional responsibility, it becomes far easier to take personal responsibility in all other areas of your life. You will discover that when you start to learn from your feelings, rather than continue to avoid them, your entire life will change for the better

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7195481

When Fears Melt Away

When we are prepared to meet our problems and concerns from another line of thought, fears that appeared as solids and liquids morph into gases of an invisible form, and they dissipate into the ether.

And though such fears are destined to re-emerge we have the key to resolving our problems when we take not just a step back, but a step sideways as well.

But first of all we must take counsel from the truth about The Truth.

The truth is always our best advocate if we will trust God enough to seek it.

Fear keeps us from the truth and, only then, we lay exposed. If we get over our fear of aligning with the truth we stand to be blessed - to stand in the Court of Awareness.

THE COURT OF AWARENESS

Courts are where truth is presented, besides allusions to justice gone wrong. When we bring our problems (presented at the feeling level as fears) before the court of our awareness we face those fears and find the fearful component of the problem falls away, because we have met the fear fearlessly in the truth.

When our truth is allowed to stand on its feet, without innuendo opposing it, the truth shines as an unopposed beacon creating awareness.

This is fundamental for our courage as we need some reason, some vote, for faith.

When we stand up from the witness dock, with all innuendo annulled, we stand with the humble confidence to face the problem without all its noisy, unhelpful bells and whistles. These present as our anxiety in the midst of our problems.

This is a court like we have never experienced before.

The judge is the Holy Spirit and the Judge will discern and not allow falsity against us. But we must see things as a third, impartial person would see them. There is no defence and no prosecution - only the truth enters this court.

In an experience of court like this we have agreed to walk with the truth, probably because we have a full faith that the truth is safe in this environment.

The Court of Awareness is a safe place where we are at one with reality in our minds. In this state we neither get too far ahead of ourselves nor do we get caught up in our pasts. We are safely present. Awareness and the truth go hand in hand. Each is necessary for the other. Each of awareness and truth provide for each other.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7196745

Top 3 Ways to Organize Your Mind

Studies show that 6 out of 10 people are suffering from some form of mental disability. Now, this is not so shocking and you should stop looking for that psychiatrist's phone number. There are various personality disorders and people often live their lives not even realizing that they're suffering from a mental condition. What really complicates the situation is the fact that often even specialists can't tell the difference between a personality trait and a trait that went somewhat rouge as in international espionage - only this time the conflict is inside the sufferers head. So, where is the thin line between sanity and insanity? The difference here is just one syllable but like I said, even people who have dedicated years of their lives studying the human mind can't tell for sure.

So, what would you do if you're going through some sort of mid-life crisis? What would you do when you realize that you're losing your grip on your own life and giving into intrusive thoughts? Destructive behaviours can be triggered from scratch - a simple fixation becomes an anxiety disorder, a repressed memory can be unlocked and who knows what will come out! And all this can affect your life in a very bad way. "A healthy mind resides in a healthy body." is a popular saying but it actually holds the answer we are searching for. The state of your mind can affect your body but this can be reversed. By changing your behaviour and the way you treat your body you can set your mind in the right track.

Here are the top 3 ways to organize your mind that work unconditionally. But which method is the most effective? Well, these methods are just frame devices - you are the picture!

Organize everything

If your mind is a mess, I won't be surprised if everything around you is also a mess. Maybe your home doesn't look neglected because you're using cleaning services but your personal belongings to which only you have access are universally scattered. The real clutter can be seen in your personal computer for sure. Of course, the simple explanation is that you don't really enjoy the housework and maybe you're a chaotic persona in general. But if you notice that these signs are getting worse and worse, then they're not signs but rather symptoms. The clutter in your brain is spreading and affecting your domestic environment. Lucky for you, this process is easily reversible. All you need to do is start organizing... everything! Organize your desk, your computer files, your clothes, your music, your books - organize every aspect of your home. But your home is not a cage, go ahead and organize your workplace and every other property of yours. Eventually, your mind will organize itself. By dealing with the surrounding clutter you'll affect the inner "clutter". A lot of people achieve inner peace with this organizing/cleaning therapy.

Exercising

Scientists have noticed that people who actively practice some form of sport rarely have intrusive thoughts while other individuals who lead a stuck way of life are more likely to develop mental disorders. "A healthy mind resides in a healthy body." can truly serve as a paragon on how to stay sane and focused when leading a life full of stress. By participating in sports and training you stay in shape and you're healthier. It is less likely you'll suffer from heart conditions, diabetes, no way you're getting overweight when you're burning so much calories. On top of that, movement and exercising cause the release of endorphins (also known as the hormone of happiness) in your bloodstream. But the cherry on top of this sundae ice-cream is that you look fabulous! Your body is more appealing to other people, therefore you're more socially acceptable. If you feel that your mind is like scrambled eggs then getting more exercise is what you need. In fact, scientists have proven that just a few minutes of exercise burns away all the hormones that are causing stress.

Hobbies

There are various ways for one to organize his mind and having a productive hobby is a good example. Everyone has an activity in his life that makes him happier. If you feel that your mind is harbouring too much stress maybe you should take some time off work and do what makes you happier. If you're reading this, I sincerely doubt that your work is your hobby. Look at this as a way of survival. The body has needs but so does the mind. Taking some time off your daily agenda and indulging yourself by doing what makes you happy is a great therapy. No wonder that women find comfort in reckless shopping. It is actually great if your hobby involves a lot of movement, this way you can satisfy the needs of your body and your mind. If you love to travel don't think twice and start packing your luggage. Let go of your worries and do something that will bring you joy. Once you get that feeling back you will handle the stress in your life much easier. Once you've refreshed and organized your thoughts and feelings you will feel much more comfortable.

In conclusion, it all comes down to this - the balance between stress and happiness. Even the most methodical mind can fall into the abyss of depression but it is important to remember that we are in control of what is going on in our lives

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7195611

How You Can Use Procrastination to Your Advantage

Watch the movie Gone with the Wind and you'll see one of Scarlett O'Hara's favorite phrases is, "I'll think about that tomorrow." While she may look fancy saying it, good ol' Scarlett is really just procrastinating!

Of course, Scarlett accomplished a whole lot during that movie, so procrastination might have worked out OK for her. But what about you? Can you ever benefit from procrastinating?

After all, the general consensus is procrastinating makes you lazy. It proves you have no sense of direction. It means you're not organized.

But hang on a minute.

Let's take a look at some well-known phrases - like "haste makes waste", "think before you speak", and "when in doubt, do nothing". Aren't these just really clever ways of procrastinating? Yet, they're all considered words of wisdom.

So, what's the deal?

Putting things off can be a good thing, when you do it the right way. For example, some people put off making a decision or taking action until they can gather more information. That way, when they do make a decision, they're confident it's the right one.

Sounds pretty smart, right?

That's why "sleeping on it" is considered to be so wise. You're taking the time you need to make a smart decision. If you don't "sleep on it", you may act irrationally or impulsively and make a big mistake!

Now, let's take it one step further. Let's say you put off making a decision so you can get more information. As a result, you wind up with a tighter deadline. In order to meet it, you have to be even more organized and disciplined than the guy who didn't take all of that extra time gathering information.

When you look at it that way, procrastinating can be a great way to learn how to work under pressure!

The key, though, is to procrastinate temporarily. If you simply use this reasoning as a way to never make a decision or accomplish anything, you're not benefitting from procrastination. Instead, you're being held back by it.

The best procrastinators are the ones who call a "time out" to assess everything. Then, once they have all the facts, they get to work - and they work hard. They eliminate the negatives and the distractions and work towards their goal.

Like anything else, procrastination can be a valuable tool, as long as you know how to use it to your advantage. So, the next time someone tells you that your procrastination is a bad thing, remind them that it can actually be a good thing. After all, Gone with the Wind ends with Scarlett exclaiming, "Tomorrow is another day!"

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7192290