We as humans can debate just what it really means to love others, and just what that takes from us as individuals. First, we need to at least loosely agree on what love is. Second, it's important to understand that to love others you must love yourself.
One good definition, and the most correct, is that love is a choice. It's not something we fall into or out of, nor is it a divine inspiration. Love, plain and simply, is a choice an individual makes.
Of course there are hormones, emotional states of the people involved, and societal pressures which figure in and point us in one direction or another. That's the spark, it's up to the people involved to bring the fire or smother it before there is a chance for real love to flare.
Understanding the choice
Once it's understood what love is, the next step is to figure out that to be able to love others you must love yourself. That doesn't mean swoon over your image in a mirror or be spellbound by your own musings, just be comfortable in your own skin and your place in the world.
No deity will do that for you, nor will you find the key in another person. It's something which has to radiate out of you. Also, the ability to truly do it has to be earned. You have to be a person deserving your own love.
How do we get there?
One of the more maddening aspects of any piece describing a way to live better or with more understanding is that the goal falls into the old cliche of being easier said than done.
A great deal of self-introspection is needed to bring yourself to the point where the level of awareness is high enough to allow real self love to blossom into an experience which is at once liberating and a heavy new responsibility.
To finally gain the veritable upper hand in the world of love by understanding yourself enough to appreciate your individuality and what you can bring to others. You cannot love another person and yourself without loving humanity at a basic level.
You cannot be apart from the greater human experience. That doesn't mean the same thing for everyone. One person may bring that appreciation into full expression in an entirely different way than another. The key is to be at peace with who you are and your part in the greater whole.
After that, the discovery of love at all levels is more fulfilling. To find a partner and choose to fall in love will bring more enjoyment than you might have thought possible before your own awakening. If you are already in a relationship and want to see it rise to new heights, seek self-awareness of love and build that back into your current status.
First fall in love with who you are in order to love others. It sounds like a simple formula, and in truth it is. The hardest part is taking the first step. Look at yourself like you never have before, and ask what you can do to earn your own love. Once there, extrapolate that into all of your relationships.
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